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Building Your Self Esteem
Self esteem is not equally divided among human beings. Some have way too
much and some have very little or none at all. Maybe it isn't fair but there
it is. A person may begin with a lot of self esteem and life events can cause
them to lose it. Sometimes people are just born into families that never
allow them to develop self esteem and even prevent self esteem from developing.
Children who grow up in households where they are constantly berated and
who are told over and over and over again that they are 'stupid, dumb, useless,
worthless, lazy, no good, etc.' just never develop any self esteem. They
tend to think of themselves as 'stupid, dumb, useless, worthless, lazy, no
good, etc.' These children are the ones who often grow up to be adults who
expect to fail. The prophecy is self fulfilling. With no self esteem, failure
is the certainty and the failure is all inclusive. It encompasses jobs and
Sometimes children who grow up in loving and nurturing homes start out with
a lot of self esteem and then the events of life can lower or even remove
it. After enough failures in jobs or business and enough failed relationships,
the self esteem that a person once had can be reduced to nothing. These people,
too, can begin to expect failure and that is always a self fulfilling prophecy.
Building or rebuilding self esteem can be done but it isn't a short or an
easy process. Many times professional help is required.
There are many courses in the real brick and mortar world as well as online
that are dedicated to helping people build or rebuild their self esteem.
Building self esteem requires people to face their fears and overcome them.
This is certainly not an easy thing for those who have low self esteem to
accomplish. However, even small successes help to build or rebuild self
When helping people to build or rebuild their self esteem, many mental health
experts tell us that we have to learn to forget our failures. But they aren't
saying that we shouldn't learn from our failures. We can forget about the
failures but we should learn from past mistakes in order to prevent making
those same mistakes in the future.
Past mistakes and failures need to be viewed in a more positive light. Past
mistakes and failures can be used as building blocks to insure future success
or they can be used as weights that pull us down and will insure future failures.
Many times people who have low self esteem will enter into abusive relationships.
They somehow believe that because they are "not good" (their opinion of
themselves), that they deserve to be mistreated and abused.
Nobody deserves to be physically, emotionally or mentally abused and any
abuse only lowers an already low self esteem.
Building or rebuilding self esteem is essential to future success and future
happiness. If you even suspect that you have low self esteem, you should
seek help immediately and if you know someone who is suffering from low self
esteem encourage and help them to seek help.