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Intimacy and Sex
There was a time when intimacy and sex were reserved for marriage at least
for most 'good girls.' Boys and men were more or less expected to seek intimacy
and sex before they married (even if they had to pay for it) but women were
Women who engaged in sexual activity before they were married were considered
'loose' and looked down on by society in general. Those ideas are still very
much alive, well and thriving in many societies today but not in American
society. Those ideas were dumped about the same time that 'Woodstock' happened
and the average ages of sexually active boys and girls have been dropping
steadily ever since.
Promiscuity is at an all time high and so is the frequency of sexually
Sometimes intimacy and sex just happens in the heat of the moment without
any plans being made in advance. When it does happen like this one or both
of the parties involved usually lives to deeply regret the event even if
it was consensual at the time.
Having casual and unprotected sex is a very high risk behavior. Even if the
female is using birth control, pregnancy can and does occur....not often,
of course, but it certainly can. There is no 100% effective method of birth
control. Both the male and the female are at risk for contracting a sexually
transmitted disease that can affect the rest of their lives.
Intimacy and sex should not be entered into lightly. The man and the woman
need to feel at ease with one another. They need to have established a
relationship that is based on trust. It is really, really important that
they have discussed and been honest with one another about their sexual histories
and about any sexually transmitted diseases that they may have at the time
or have ever had in the past.
Granted, this is not an easy conversation to initiate nor to participate
in but it is one that needs to be held and honesty is essential. Sexually
transmitted diseases are so common today that there are even online dating
sites that are devoted to people who have herpes, who are HIV positive or
who have full blown AIDS. Being honest, in this case, really can be a matter
or life or death. It can determine the direction that your life will go and
it can even determine whether you will ever be able to bear or father children.
Many sexually transmitted diseases, even though they can be cured, leave
the patient sterile for life.
Humans are sexual beings. We were born to reproduce and that is what the
sex act is designed to do.....create another human being. Of course, every
sexual encounter doesn't result in pregnancy. We are too smart to let that
happen or at least we are supposed to be. We use protection. Women use birth
control pills or patches, men use condoms, all for the prevention of pregnancy.
And these measure work quite well most of the time. The thing is that neither
of these measures is certain to protect against sexually transmitted diseases.
Birth control pills and patches don't claim to and even condoms fail.
Before a couple decides to become intimate and have sex, they should have
discussed it openly and honestly in advance of the main event.