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Ensuring Compatibility in Your
Compatibility is a word that you hear often today. You hear it and read it
in regard to computer programs for example. "This software is compatible
with Windows XP." What that means is that the piece of software in question
can live in harmony with your XP version of Windows on your computer. One
will not keep the other from functioning as it should.
Compatibility in a relationship is pretty much the same as compatible software
programs on your computer. The two people in a relationship do not prevent
each other from functioning properly.
Simply put, compatible pieces of software are compartmentalized. That is
when one piece of software is in charge of a function, the other software
doesn't interfere with the process.
Men have always been better at compartmentalizing their lives than women.
Many can do this so well that they simply do not see how what happens in
one part of their life should have any bearing on what is going on in another
The fact is that in a truly compatible relationship between a man and a woman
both need to realize that everything that they do either directly or indirectly
affects the other and compromise is the most essential tool to insure
Compatibility between a man and a woman means that they accept the fact that
each has obligations and responsibilities that, although they affect the
other, really has nothing to do with the relationship itself.
In a word, each must allow the other 'space' in which to live. Every minute
of every hour or every day cannot be accounted for and it shouldn't have
to be. If the man OR the woman in a relationship stops for a drink with their
coworkers on the way home from work, it is not an affront to the relationship.
It DOESN'T mean that they would rather be with their friends than be with
you. Their coworkers are NOT more important to them than you are.
Now, the man or the woman who chooses to stop for that drink with their coworkers
should have the common courtesy to notify their significant other that they
will be a little later getting home.
Neither party in a relationship should make plans for the other without prior
consultation. Neither should accept a dinner invitation with friends for
example without checking first. The other could already have made plans.
The bottom line here is that to ensure compatibility in a relationship, both
parties in the relationship must give their partner space to live their lives
and they must both show common courtesy to the other.
Jealousy is a green eyed monster that is famous for wrecking otherwise compatible
relationships. Jealousy is rooted in self doubt and low self esteem. In order
to maintain a compatible relationship, jealousy and the need for control
need to be banished. You must give your partner space and show them simply
common courtesy and they must be willing to do the same for you.