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Raging Hearts Review

Free dating tips, advice, news and resources to keep you up to date on the latest dating information.

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Avoiding Potentially Abusive Relationships

There are many ways that people can abuse one another. There is, of course, the obvious physical abuse but it isn't the only variety of abuse out there. There is mental and emotional abuse as well. While it is most often men who engage in physical abuse (not ALWAYS but usually), both men and women are adept at dishing out mental and emotional abuse especially to those with whom they have close relationships....husbands, wives, children, elderly parents and even their pets.

The people who have dominate and manipulative personalities often become physical, mental and emotional abusers. The physical, mental and emotional abuses are tools that these manipulators use to ensure compliance with the 'decisions' that they have made.

There are small signs that both men and women can pick up on when dating that will be pretty good indicators of whether their dating partner is a potential abuser. Pay attention and if you see any of these indicators, the best idea is to RUN.

1. An arrogant and superior attitude: They will speak 'down' to wait staff. They will be rude to cab drivers or door men.
2. Difficulty in controlling emotions: You will quickly witness them struggling to regain control of a situation. You will see clenched fists that only very slowly relax.
3. They are bigots: They will use or refer to racial epithets. They indicate that people of certain races are inferior to their own race.
4. They are disrespectful of the opposite sex: Men will tell and enjoy 'dumb' women jokes and women will tell and enjoy 'dumb' men jokes.

In the beginning of any relationship between a man and a woman each will be putting their 'best foot forward', so to speak. However, once a relationship has been established somewhat, the 'real' person will reveal themselves in a number of ways. When you are in a relationship, you need to become aware of these tell tale signs.

The facts are hard and cold. If he has hit you once, no matter how profuse his apology and no matter how loud and long he swears that it will never happen again, it WILL happen again. If he or she berates you so that you feel dumb and inadequate, they will continue to do it again and again.

Abusers can learn to control themselves but not without professional help. Have you ever heard the old saying, 'a leopard doesn't change his spots'? Even after a lot of counseling, an abuser will continue to have abusive tendencies but they can learn to control those tendencies. What they cannot do is simply decide not to be abusive. They will always be abusive but they can learn not to act on their abusive tendencies.
Nobody should ever stay in an abusive relationship. If abuse has happened once, it will happen again. Over time the abuse will only become more hurtful physically, mentally or emotionally. Somebody will get seriously hurt and it very rarely the abuser.

Nobody can abuse you unless you allow that to happen. It really is up to you to keep your eyes wide open and when you see the possibility of abuse, you need to remove yourself from that potential.

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