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Raging Hearts Review

Free dating tips, advice, news and resources to keep you up to date on the latest dating information.

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The Art of Online Flirtation

Just as you flirt with people offline, you can flirt online as well, and just like offline flirting, online flirting is a skill that must be learned. Online dating requires online flirting to let people know that you are interested in them. Since they can't see your body language, you have to learn to use an online flirting language.

In the offline world, you may look at someone with smoldering bedroom eyes, wink, smile, wave, or touch them lightly. But you also flirt, offline, with speech - with what you say, and how you say it. Since nobody online will see your bedroom eyes, you have to learn how to use speech effectively online - especially since that speech will be typed, and not spoken.

Many online dating sites will allow you to sent 'flirts' or 'smiles' to people that you are interested in to break the ice. This covers the type of flirting that you do offline, such as stares, smiles, etc. But what you have to remember is that sending a 'flirt' or a 'smile' is just simply an ice breaker, and you must follow through with actual conversation.

First, your communication should be natural. Don't try too hard. Look at the person's profile, and if you have a common interest, start there. Don't write a book - write a short note. For instance, if you both have an interest in bowling, write a short note, tell them that you play on a league, how it did in the last tournament, and ask them if they play in a league. Short and sweet gets things going, and a common interest is a great place to start. Point out something about the interest, a little on yourself in relation to that interest, and then put your focus on them, and their relationship to that interest.

Keep it light, and keep it positive. Be interesting. Ask questions about things that you find in their profile, and of course avoid questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no. Use gentle teasing techniques, but be sure that you don't go too far, and that the person knows that you are just kidding them. Talk to them in your email or on IM, just as you would if they were standing in front of you - conversations are not one sided, use the give and take method.

If you want a reply, you have to work for it. Again, avoid simple yes or no questions, but do sign off with a question that needs to be answered. You can also get replies by using the art of mystery. For instance, 'I have a secret that I use when I bowl that really improved my game.' If the other person is an avid bowler, they will want to know what that secret is.

Once the communication has started, you have to keep it going, without appearing to be too eager. The art of flirtation still involves the art of playing hard to get! Never doubt that - people want what is harder to attain. Keep the conversation going, but space it out - just as you wouldn't want someone to know that you were waiting by the phone for their call, you also wouldn't want someone to know that you were glued to the computer waiting for their email!

At the same time, don't play too hard to get! You can let them wait an hour for a reply, but don't make them wait longer than a day! If you do, they will assume it is a brush off and move on. You have to learn how to do this balancing act, because it is an essential ingredient in the art of online flirting.

If a conversation doesn't smooth out and feel natural after a few exchanges, move on. You will know what feels right for you, and if you are having to work too hard for the conversation, this probably isn't the person for you.

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