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Free dating tips, advice, news and resources to keep you up to date on the
latest dating information.
Making Contact In The Online Dating
Now that you've joined the world of online dating, spent hours - or possibly
days - getting your profile done, and spent additional time sorting through
profiles, you've probably found several people that you would like to get
to know better. If you thought the agony of setting up your profile and selecting
just the right photo was bad, be prepared...this is just the beginning!
Let's start with all of the members that have already taken an interest in
you. When you join a dating site, and set up your profile, many sites notify
members that require your qualities that you are there. So, in a sense, they
kind of break the ice for you, by letting others know that you are a potential
match for them, and many of those people will contact you first.
Breathe deep, and start reading the email messages that you have received.
Before replying to any of them, take the time to really consider each one.
Go look at the profiles of the people that have contacted you. Do you really
think that they are potential matches? Are you interested in them? If not,
delete the email, there is no need to reply. If you are interested, however,
that is a different story.
Remember that you probably will not discover your soul mate on the first
day! This is vital, because if you don't keep an open mind about this, you
will fail at online dating, and the contact you make really won't matter
much. On the other hand, if you are too eager, you will probably say the
wrong thing, and never hear from your potential soul mate again.
Be yourself. Be honest. Be positive. Those are the keys to successful contact.
Keep it short. You don't have to write long letters. Answer their questions,
and ask questions in return. Avoid questions that can be answered with 'yes'
or 'no.' Learn the art of online flirting - while the concept is the same
as offline flirting, you don't get to use body language or looks to flirt
online. Offline, you can stare, smile, laugh and touch. You have to flirt
with conversation online. Flirting online is about what you say, and how
you say it!
Again, before you respond, go read the profile. It doesn't matter if it takes
you an hour to respond - just don't let several days go by without a response!
Read the persons profile, and look for something that you can talk about
with them. It is extremely helpful if there is something in their profile
that relates to you - such as a common interest, or a common situation. Look
at their job, their education, their hobbies, their family, their preferences
in terms of entertainment - everything.
The important thing is not to be too boring in your communication with them
- or too arrogant. There is a balancing act that you must learn. Be interesting
without being too interested, but not uninterested. Let them know a little
bit about you - not your entire life story - but leave room to let them talk
about themselves as well. Start small, with something in common, and work
your way up and out.
Again, less is more. Keep your initial communication brief. Be light and
positive. Be interesting, and leave them with a little mystery to further
their interest. Answer questions, and ask questions, and then make a mysterious
statement that will pique their interest even further!