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What Women Want
Ah, one of the great mysteries of life, what do women want? It's an age old
question that has haunted men for many centuries. There have been many volumes
of words written on the subject and very few (if any) conclusions made.
In 1992, John Gray published his book, "Men are from Mars, Women are from
Venus". In it he emphasizes the differences in the ways that men and women
communicate. For example: when a man discusses a problem, he is looking for
a solution but when a woman discusses a problem, she simply wants the problem
to be acknowledged...she didn't call 911 and she doesn't expect the man to
find a solution for her. There are all kinds of similar communication stumbling
blocks between men and women.
Basically men and women want the very same things out of a relationship.
Their lists of priorities are simply in a different order. Men would do well
to learn a woman's order of priorities and women would do well to understand
the order of a man's priorities. Simple understanding could eliminate a lot
of misunderstanding between the sexes.
A woman's priorities are like this:
1. She wants a man that is physically attractive to her. She wants him to
be clean and in at least reasonably good physical condition. He doesn't have
to have muscles of steel but he can't be the proverbial 'weakling on the
beach' either. Height isn't as important as muscle tone.
2. She wants him to be fun to be with and to provide male companionship.
She has girl friends. She isn't looking for another girl friend in a boy
suit. She wants to enjoy his company and she wants him to obviously enjoy
her company. She wants to laugh together and have fun doing things that they
3. After the relationship has been established, she wants romance. A man
should not confuse romance with sex. She doesn't want S-E-X. She wants romance
and she wants it with a capital R. A walk on a wind swept beach at sunset
while holding hands is romantic. A single rose delivered to her at work is
romantic. In earlier times this was called 'courtship.' That is an old fashioned
term but the objective is the same.
4. She wants recognition for and respect for what she does. It doesn't matter
at all what 'it' is. If she cooks a nice meal, then she wants it to be
appreciated and complimented. If she has a coup at her job she wants to her
hard work to be recognized and respected. She wants to appear as an equal
in your eyes.
5. She wants you to actually listen to what she says. She wants you to ask
intelligent questions that prove that you are listening to her and understanding
her. When she discusses a problem that she is having with you, she is NOT
asking you to provide a solution. She is only asking you to listen and
acknowledge that she has a problem.
6. She wants an intimate and sexual relationship with you but not before
she is ready. She has to come to trust you enough to make herself vulnerable.
Men and women view the sex act in different ways. You will be ready to take
the relationship to a sexual level long before she will be.
7. She wants food. There is something primal in nature about a man feeding
a woman. Traditionally women have been the cooks, but there really isn't
anything that is more of a turn-on than a man preparing a meal for his lady.
8. She wants continuity. She wants to believe that you are going to be there
even if things go wrong. She wants to know that you have staying power.
9. She wants acceptance. She wants your friends and your family to accept
her and like her.
10. And last but by no means least, she wants faithfulness.
If you can give her what she wants and needs, you will most likely get what
you want and need and much more - a very happy and fulfilling relationship.