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Conversation Starters
I suppose everybody has been on one of THOSE dates at one time or another.
You know the ones I mean. They are just awkward encounters. Short bursts
of something that vaguely resembles conversation and then long periods of
strained silences. Both parties to the date are checking their every few
minutes to see how much longer until it is OVER.
Often these silent dates are blind dates or first dates. The two people
participating in the date are usually quiet types. (Maybe that's why whoever
arranged this date thought the two people were "perfect" for each other.)
There is no universal reason why people are quite. Sometimes they are just
'B' type personalities. Sometimes they are just shy. Sometimes they are afraid
of saying something 'wrong'. It doesn't matter what they reason is, the strong
silent type and the shy quite type just aren't natural conversationalists.
However, with just a little preparation, those long awkward silences can
be avoided on dates even by people who are very quiet. There is one thing
that even the very quietest of souls will do and that is they will answer
a direct question. Granted, sometimes they give short one-word answers but
it's a start.
The dictionary defines 'conversation' as: "informal interchange of thoughts,
information, etc., by spoken words; oral communication between persons; talk;
colloquy."
A friend of mine told me about the first date that she had with the man she
eventually married. The date had been arranged by a mutual friend. They met
as agreed and introduced themselves and then that deadly silence set in almost
immediately. My friend said that this is what happened next:
My friend: "So where did you go to college?"
Date: "Cornell."
Silence
My friend: "Did you belong to a fraternity?"
Date: "Yeah."
Silence
My friend: "It too bad you didn't graduate."
Date: "Huh?"
My friend: (With a smile) "You obviously failed oral communication!"
There was a long pause and then he laughed, she laughed, the ice was broken
and the rest, as they say, is history.
A lot of people don't think well under pressure. There isn't anything wrong
with that and conversational techniques can be learned. The most important
thing is a little preparation. Preparation can ease tense nerves, relieve
stress and start the flow of easy conversation.
Obviously, both parties to a date wanted to be there or they never would
have agreed to the date in the first place. You know whether conversation
comes easily for you or not. If it doesn't, then take a little time to prepare
for conversation. Think of some conversation starter questions. It isn't
even a bad idea if you are very nervous to write the questions down and take
them with you.
Some great conversation starters are:
1. Where did you go to college?
2. What kind of music do you like?
3. Is there any kind of food that you really hate?
4. What is a movie that you have seen more than once?
5. Do you have brothers and sisters?
6. What is the dumbest thing you have ever done in your life?
7. What is your most unusual talent?
8. Do you have a pet?
9. How did you meet (mutual friend)?
10. What is your favorite football team?
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Adult
Dating
